erimthar (erimthar) wrote,

"The Bronze Box" (Part 3 of 3) - Buffy/Tomb Raider/Xena crossover - NC-17 (f/f)

Title: “The Bronze Box” (Part 3 of 3)

Author: erimthar

Fandoms: Buffy, Tomb Raider, and Xena triple crossover!

Pairing: Willow Rosenberg/Lara Croft. Special appearance by Aphrodite, the goddess of love

Disclaimer: Buffy (and Willow Rosenberg) is the property of 20th Century Fox. Tomb Raider (and Lara Croft) is the property of Square Enix. Xena (and this version of Aphrodite) is the property of Universal Studios. Katy Perry is the property of Katy Perry. No infringement intended, only fun.

Rating: NC-17 (explicit f/f)

Warnings: Sort-of RPF

Notes: Written for International Day of Femslash 2014. This is an x-rated sequel to my story from several years ago, “Down the Well,” which explained how Lara Croft met Buffy and Willow, found out she was a Slayer, and had a very nice evening with Willow. Takes place between seasons 9 and 10 (comics continuation) and has minor spoilers up to that point.

Word count: 2,984 (this chapter); 8,795 (full story)

...Continued from Part 2

It felt about twice as big as it looked. After about a minute of grunting and sweating and corkscrewing her hips, the egg finally slipped up through the powerful rings of muscle and into Willow’s depths.

“Are you alright?” Lara inquired as Willow laid there catching her breath.

“Fine. This must be a little preview of what having a baby feels like.”

“I don’t think too many babies try to crawl up. Anyway, are you ready for me?”


Lara straddled Willow’s hips and grabbed hold of the waggling shaft to guide it into herself.


“What?” Lara inquired, a little alarmed.

“When you grabbed hold of it!” Willow said, wide-eyed. “It’s like you grabbed hold of me!”

“What do you mean?”

Willow tenatively reached over and closed her hand around the shaft jutting from between her legs. “I can feel it,” she said. “It’s like having a real penis… at least, I’m pretty sure this is what having a real penis would feel like.”

“I guess that’s where the magic comes in, then.”

“I guess!”

“So, Willow my boy. Would you like me to give you a fumbling, clumsy attempt at a blowjob?”

“No,” Willow said decisively. “I want to feel myself deep inside you. Right now.”

Lara smiled. “You certainly know the right things to say to a girl.”

She re-positioned herself astride Willow’s hips, guided the shaft between her lips, and, taking a deep breath, she sank down around the metallic penis, letting gravity do the hardest of the work.

The two women groaned in unison at the unfamiliar sensations. Lara was so tight that for Willow, sheathing herself inside her was like being grabbed by a fist. She could feel every little twitch and flex of the other woman’s pelvic muscles.

Lara took a few minutes to get comfortable with the enormous intruder. And then she tentatively began to rock back and forth and side to side, and to bounce gingerly up and down.

Willow literally drooled at the sensation, which was made all the more surreally delicious by the hypnotic sight of Lara’s breasts bouncing and jiggling up above her.

Willow could feel pressure building up inside her as every one of Lara’s movements caused the egg inside her to nudge against her g-spot. Soon she felt an urgent, helpless, overwhelming need to climax. She took a deep breath and held it, clenched her teeth, curled her toes, grabbed Lara by the thighs, and let loose.

Oh, something was different. Something was very different. She felt a sensation deep in her loins that was scalding hot and burning cold at the same time, and then there was a feeling of deep, intense release like nothing she’d ever experienced before.

Her back arched right off the bed, and she could hear herself as if through a long tunnel.

EEEEEEYAAAAAAAHHH! UHHHHHHH! Uh! Uh! Uh! UH! Ooooooh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Nnnnnnnnnnn….. aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh….”

A lot like that, but longer.

She might have passed out a little bit, because she seemed to wake up with a start. As her eyes came into focus she saw the glistening golden shaft sticking up from her own crotch. Behind it was Lara, sprawled on her butt between Willow’s legs.

Lara was… a mess. There was come in her hair and all over her face. On her shoulders, running down her breasts and dripping off their nipples and undersides. Spattered all over her belly and thighs.

“Willow,” she said calmly. “Does Godzilla know you have his prostate?”

“Oh my gosh!” Willow put her hand over her mouth. “Did I do that?”

“I’m pretty sure you did. I was here. I saw the whole thing.”

“But how??? I don’t have a prostate! I… I don’t have any balls!”

“On the contrary,” said an unfamiliar female voice from the other side of the room. “I think you’ve got a great big pair of knee-knockers, to be boning your honey with someone else’s cock like that.”

Even in the state she was in, Lara had impressive reflexes. Before the newcomer had even finished speaking she’s done a shoulder-roll off the bed, retrieved a pistol from where it had been strapped underneath the nightstand, and was pointing it at the intruder.

“Who the hell are you?” she demanded.

“Slow your roll, Glazed Donut Girl,” said the intruder. “I’m definitely a lover, not a fighter. Anyway, bullets won’t work on me.”

Still lying on the bed, Willow blinked at the newcomer.

“Lara, you didn’t tell me you knew Katy Perry. Or that she, um, had a key to your flat.”

“I don’t, and she doesn’t. And that is not Katy Perry. It’s a trick. Not a very good one, at that.”

The intruder certainly did look exactly like Katy Perry, pop star extraordinaire, though wearing less makeup than usual. Her glossy black hair was tied back in a ponytail, and held off her face by a fuzzy green headband. An Ocean Pacific crop-top hung enticingly off the balcony of her breasts. Down below she wore a tiny pair of boy-cut shorts, very colorful neon sneakers and powder-green socks. Her large quantities of exposed creamy skin seemed to be soaked in a sheen of sweat.

“Who are you, and how did you get in here?” Lara demanded.

“Well, funny thing,” the Katy lookalike replied, seemingly not concerned at all about the gun pointed at her. “I was on my NordicTrack, doing my cardio, when all of a sudden out of nowhere I had this absolute cunt-buster of an orgasm. I mean, it put me on my knees. And when I could think again, I though to myself, Hey, self… that’s the alarm. Somebody just fucked somebody with the Golden Cock of Kythira. And the alarm told me that fucking had taken place in this flat in London. So I popped in to see what was what.”

“Alarm? Golden Cock of Kythira? What are you talking about?” Willow asked.

Katy sighed. “It’s kind of a long story. Look, I really don’t mind having long, hard things pointed at me, but your arm is going to get tired holding that gun while I tell it.”

Lara, steely-eyed, held the gun steady.

“Okay, okay. Look. I really am Katy Perry, okay? But I’m also Aphrodite, the goddess of love.”

Lara snorted with derisive laughter.

Katy shrugged, and… changed, right before their eyes. There was a sweet scent, as if someone had just opened a window overlooking a flower garden on a spring day. Standing in Katy’s place was a jaw-droppingly beautiful woman with radiant golden curls, clad only in what seemed to be a bikini made of tiny, living white and pink flowers.

She struck a pose. “See? Aphrodite, Goddess of Love.”

Then she morphed back to Katy-shape.

“I know you mortals today don’t believe in this kind of thing, so… let’s see. What’s something only the goddess of love would know. You, naked redhead. Your name is Willow Rosenberg. You had your first orgasm accidentally when you were towelling yourself off after a bath. You ran to your mother in tears and told her you’d just had a heart attack. She had no idea what you were talking about.”

Willow blushed furiously. “Holy shit,” she said softly.

Katy turned to Lara. “Lara DeMornay Croft, Countess of Abbington. When you were fifteen years old you were playing tennis with your boyfriend. The head gardener’s teenage daughter, Abby, was working in the garden right next to the tennis court. You got so distracted watching her work in her cutoff shorts that you took a tennis ball right to the side of the head.”

Lara blanched, then blushed to match Willow. “She wasn’t supposed to be wearing shorts,” she grumbled. “It was against the rules.”

Katy smiled. “It was a hot day. It got hotter. Two nights later, you and Abby were practically swallowing each other’s tongues in the flowerpot shed. But she chickened out before it went any further. That’s when you knew you were into girls.”

Lara lowered her gun, still frowning. “This is freaky. You’re a goddess? You’re Aphrodite? What, you killed Katy Perry and took her place?”

“You’ve got me all wrong, kiddo. I am Katy Perry. There isn’t any other one besides me. I'm her, and she’s me. I’ve wanted to be a rock star since way before there were rock stars. Yeah, I’m a serious exhibitionist, but with me it’s kind of a matter of life or death. When I was a goddess, I had temples and worshipers and that’s where my powers came from. But after people stopped worshiping the gods… mainly because most of us were dead… I started losing my powers. If I didn’t find a way to get some worshipers, I was gonna fade right away.

“About a century and a half ago, I realized that even if people didn’t believe in goddesses anymore, they could still worship me. They had this new thing called photography that was exactly the answer to my problem. So I took on the persona of a chick named Adah Isaacs Menken, got half-naked on stage and in front of lots of cameras, and the next thing I knew, millions of men and thousands of women were giving me the worship I needed.”

“Worshiping you with their eyes?” Willow asked.

“Worshiping me with their dicks and their hoo-has. They were looking at sexy pictures of me and whacking off. That’s where my power comes from. From pure, animal lust. From mortals wanting me so bad they can’t keep their pants on. Ever since then, I’ve worked the sexy celebrity angle. Katy here is one of my biggest success stories. Not only is it tons of fun to be her, but the sex… damn. Right now, there are…” She paused to think a minute. “…One hundred seventy-two people in the world with their dicks or their muffs in their hands, jerking off while fantasizing about me.”

“You can sense when somebody is tossing off thinking about you?” Lara still seemed quite skeptical.

“Yep. It’s part of the package. Let’s see… right now there’s a guy in Dayton, Ohio thinking about how much he’d like to take me over his knees and spank my bare bottom with a wooden spoon. Kinky, but I’m not into pain, sorry. A guy in Medford, Oregon just ruined his copy of Esquire with my pictures in it. Good to see print’s not dead. And in Amarillo, Texas, a high-school cheerleader is watching a video of me in my Elmo shirt. She’s got her top off and is teasing both of her nipples with toothbrushes. Interesting technique, but I’m not sure it really counts as mastur…. Oops! I spoke too soon. Girlfriend just lost it right in her daisy dukes. Nice job, ladies!” Katy looked down at her chest with pride.

“Lara,” Willow said, “this woman is oozing so much Surge Magic I’m practically getting a tan here. I don’t think that much could come from a mortal. I think she’s telling the truth.”

“Well thanks, freckles!” Katy said warmly.

“Okay, okay,” Lara said, putting down the gun. “But why are you here in my flat, invading our privacy?”

“Because you used the Golden Cock of Kythira. I invented it. In fact, it’s my greatest invention. I put a spell on it that if anyone ever has an orgasm with it, I’d have it too. The orgasm, I mean. And I’d know eactly where the Cock was so I could go to it and get it back.”

Lara and Willow both blinked, uncomprehending.

“Okay, another long story. A couple thousand years ago I had two really good friends who got married. I wanted to get them the perfect wedding present, and I figured the best thing was to give them a way to have their own babies together.”

“The bride and groom weren’t able to have their own children?” Willow asked.

“The bride and groom were both brides.”


“Yeah. So, I created the Golden Cock for Xena and Gaby. They both pretended to be all embarrassed when I gave it to them, but boy did they ever use it. They both got pregnant on their wedding night. That was beautiful. Their twin daughters were even born on the exact same day. We called them the twins, even though they came out of separate pussies.”

“Anyway. Eventually Xena and Gaby got old and died and reincarnated and found each other, like they always do. Every time that happened I’d track them down and let them have the Golden Cock so they could have fun, and have kids if they wanted. But sometimes the Cock would get lost in between reincarnations and stuff. I had a built-in alarm system… when anybody comes while wearing it, I come too. And I know exactly where it is, so I can go get it back.”

“Wait a minute,” Willow said. “Whenever anybody has an orgasm while using the… Cock… you have one too? Like, on your friends’ wedding night?”

“Oh, they used it a lot more than on their wedding night.”

“And did they know you were coming along for the ride?”

“Or riding along for the come? Of course. Who do I look like, the Great Goddess Rapey McRape? All consensual, all informed. That’s the goddess of love motto.”

“And they didn’t have a problem with this?”

“I’m pretty sure they tried not to think about it. Or maybe they did. I think Gaby had a little bit of a boner for me. I know I had one for her.”

“Does so much always come out?” Lara asked, looking down at the mess.

“Oh, yeah. Sometimes more. I remember one time Gaby was giving Xena a handjob, and Xena actually splattered the ceiling. Of course, it was a small attic room and it was Xena’s horny time of the month.”

“Of course. Oh, my god…” Lara turned pale.

“Yes?” Katy-dite answered.

“This stuff can get you pregnant?”

“Hell, yes.”

“I think I might be in trouble.”

“Why? Did freckles here come inside you?”

Lara nodded. “Two great big squirts before I realized what was happening and rolled off her.”

Willow was horrified. “Oh, gosh, Lara… I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was going to happen. I thought I’d just have a regular girl-gasm. I should have worn a condom.”

“You’d need a condom the size of a tube sock to contain all that,” Katy said. “Come over here and let me check you out,” she said to Lara.

She laid her hand on Lara’s messy belly for a few seconds, concentrating. “Nope,” she said, “you’re clear. None of Red’s wiggly little Womb Raiders managed to swim far enough upstream.”

Lara sighed with relief.

“You know,” Katy mused, “You two remind me a lot of Xena and Gaby. Their current reincarnations are kind of too old to have kids now. Maybe you should keep the Golden Cock until it’s needed again.”

Lara and Willow looked at each other.

“Lara, I’m sorry I almost got you pregnant, but… that orgasm was the best thing in the history of the world. Ever.”

“Pretty much,” Katy agreed. “I almost hurt myself.”

“But isn’t it kind of a waste?” Lara said. “It should go to a couple who want to have children. And you’re amazing, Willow, but I would make a terrible mother.”

“Maybe you’d make a really good father,” Willow said. Lara looked at her, shocked.

“It’s settled, then,” Katy declared. “You two keep the Cock until I come back for it. Which might not be till after you're dead. Go ahead and have lots of little witches and tomb raiders. And have lots of great big honking orgasms that I can share. It might get awkward if you two fuck while I’m in the middle of a show, but honestly I don’t think my audience would even notice.”

“Gotta confess,” Willow said sheepishly, “it won’t be the first time you’ve figured in an orgasm of mine, Katy.”

“I know, sweetie. The ‘Last Friday Night’ video, wasn’t it?”

Willow nodded, grinning.

“What?” Lara laughed. “With the brace face and headgear?”

“Hey, everybody has a secret fetish,” Katy said. “Willow likes leggy nerds. Do you guys have a shower here? I’m, like, drenched in sweat, and we've got more to talk about before I take off.”

“Yes, I do,” Lara said. “But I hope you don’t mind me joining you. I’m drenched in witch semen.”

“Oooh, me too!” Willow piped up. “I’m drenched in… um, the desire to take a shower with Katy Perry and Lara Croft.”

Katy looked at them sternly. “Wait a minute. Are you two daring to suggest a lesbian threesome in the shower? With the goddess of love?”

Willow and Lara looked at each other. “I don’t know if that’s what she’s suggesting,” Willow said. “But it’s certainly what I’m suggesting.”

Katy smiled. “Sounds awesome to me. You two are way more perverted than Xena and Gaby. I like it.”

Willow picked up the Golden Cock. “Can we bring this? I think we could use a demonstration from the creator herself.”

“Oookay. Do you want me pitching or catching?”

“Both,” Lara and Willow said in unison.

“Do you want me as Katy Perry or as Aphrodite the blonde goddess of love?”

“Both,” Lara and Willow said in unison.

“Damn, I like the way you girls think. Which way to the shower? You two are gonna hear me roar!”

The End

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